Struggling but hopeful

[Anonymous]

I have been struggling with pornography addiction. It has been a fight for many years. My dad (who passed away over 20 years ago) was addicted and his behaviors made me addicted. I became a Christian a little over 2 years ago and easily gave up alcohol, bad friends, got involved with outside Bible studies, and adopted a child. I could not give up porn. I spoke with my church preachers and Elders, went to a day long Bible study about pornography by Art Adams, and read Every Man’s Battle twice. It has been a battle and I am in the midst of the fight. Last night I gave in to temptation and I am needing guidance as to how to fight back.

This is what I have noticed:
I only do it at night
I keep my phone in the room
I do not do it a few days after my wife and I make love
I usually do it when I wear a certain type of underwear
I do it when my wife is asleep.
I only do it on my phone.
It is hard to fight it once my thoughts have turned to other women

I gave up for 2 months before and was very proud but my wife would and sometimes could not have marital relations with me.

These are mostly softballs statements with easy solutions but I need the encouragement to win the war.

[Sober4him]

Hello, I want to welcome you to recovery. Realizing you have a problem is an important step. It is also very good to recognize your habits. These become rituals over time and they are the spark that leads to acting out. I suggest moving your phone to another room. If you use it for an alarm clock, get an alarm clock to put next to your bed. If you have trouble sleeping, which I sometimes do, there is no shame in taking a sleep aid but they could become addictive. It is important to remind yourself that when you slip up, you are NOT starting over. The Devil cannot take away from you what progress or knowledge you have gained thus far. Learn from your mistakes and make one victory at a time.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your reply! I am struggling lately but I am still fighting the war and every evening is a battle. If I want to get into heaven, I must wear my armor while on earth. This is my weakness and my burden but I am not the only one struggling and others have been successful. I can do this 🙂

[AManFromUz]

The first step in Alcoholics Anonymous (or any of the other branches) is to admit that we are powerless over our addiction. That has been and IS one of my problems. I’m a man and I don’t like to admit I don’t have control. I can handle it all on my own. But I can’t, and you can’t. When we come to that realization we change our mindset to accepting that we need help and we start looking up to God instead of inside of ourselves.

Change things up. Pick up a hobby that you can do when you are feeling bored… model cars, gardening (although that’s hard at night!), something you enjoy. Pornography becomes an addiction and when you start removing that out of your life you have to replace it with something. Another thing that would help is to find scriptures that encourage you in this journey, write them down and read them every morning. Carry them with you during the day. When you are struggling, look at them.

The biggest thing, to me, is to have a game plan. You said “I must wear my armor” and that is true! But what is also true is that you don’t go into a battle unless you have a game plan. Determine ahead of time what it is that you will do when you start feeling that way, and you see temptation creeping up to your door. Joseph didn’t wait until Potipher’s wife was coming on to him what he would do. He knew ahead of time… so must we.

I’m struggling through this life as well, and I pray you have much success in this battle.

[Edwin]

Thanks for all your honesty and evaluation. A perspective shift that has helped me.

I used to think, “If I’m ever going to make it to heaven, I have to quit porn.” The problem is every time I failed was a reason to give up entirely because it made me think I would never make it, why bother trying. Then I had a perspective shift. I’m a Christian. I have been saved by the blood and grace of Jesus. I am going to heaven. I am not going to heaven if I get perfect between now and the day I die. I’m going to heaven. Jesus bought me, paid for me, and is conforming me to His image. He is going to get me there.

Now I think, “I”m going to heaven, I don’t need porn.”

I’m not saying there is no more battle. I’m not saying I never stumble. But stumbles don’t have the destructive power they used to have.

Place this in the “for what it’s worth” file.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your comments! It means a lot to me 🙂 I have been in overeaters anonymous so I can relate.

[Author]

Posts