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Psalm 119:81-88 (NKJV)
My soul faints for Your salvation,
But I hope in Your word.
My eyes fail from searching Your word,
Saying, “When will You comfort me?”
For I have become like a wineskin in smoke,
Yet I do not forget Your statutes.
How many are the days of Your servant?
When will You execute judgment on those who persecute me?
The proud have dug pits for me,
Which is not according to Your law.
All Your commandments are faithful;
They persecute me wrongfully;
Help me!
They almost made an end of me on earth,
But I did not forsake Your precepts.
Revive me according to Your lovingkindness,
So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth.Most of the psalm so far has pulled my mind toward the good moments, the moments when faith outweighs the fear and I am able to have stand in a place of confidence. But the memory of the darker moments is near enough that this section of the psalm hits a tender spot. One of the driving forces behind my anxiety has always been the desire to be able to know and control what lies ahead in order to achieve my own measure of security. In the pleas of the psalmist, I hear my own cries for knowledge and understanding. I wish I could say that I held onto God’s word as closely in those times as the psalmist does, but I would often lose my grip on His truth as I groped around in the dark for a quick and easy answer. May I rather be like the psalmist here, that I “do not forget Your statutes.”
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