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After the initial shock of an affair or electronic betrayal, the one betrayed has questions and conjures up visions of their mate with someone else. Self-punishment comes in with self-doubt on how they missed the signs. For some full disclosure is recommended, but for others full disclosure only serves to re-traumatize the betrayed one. While honesty is always recommended, too much information can keep feeding the trauma and impede healing the breach. Oh, the problems created by someone choosing to do wrong.
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